so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
