i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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