i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
