my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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