Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
