I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
