were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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