There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
