Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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