is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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