the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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