i jhust puked up my retainher.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
