chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Sex in the backyard? Check.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
