In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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