I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I need to calm my uterus...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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