No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
