so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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