matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
