haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
