I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
