That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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