He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
