I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
