I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
