It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Randomize
