I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
