I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize