i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
