What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
