lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize