Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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