ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
