No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
