erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
