I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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