Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
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