sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
