Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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