and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Send help, water and tortillas.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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