Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
