gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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