I think my vagina is haunted
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
