were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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