My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
