can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
