this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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