I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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