It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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