The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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