you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
