The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Randomize
