People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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