omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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