she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
