I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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