I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
