Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
