I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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