he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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