I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize