Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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