I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
