it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you will always have a special place in my vag
This gyro tastes like lonliness
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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