escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
