I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
